The lyrical power of simple words

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By Dorothy Pomerantz | Fitch Ink Managing Editor

I’m lucky enough to know a handful of amazing songwriters. I find what they do with words nothing short of magical. In just a few lines, they can conjure up a doomed relationship, perfectly capture first love or evoke the magic of a road trip. 

It’s such a different skill from corporate writing that it might seem there’s no overlap. In the work we do, we’re often trying to explain complicated technology, like mobile power plants, or tell stories like one about nonprofit building emergency shelters in Malawi. It’s not the kind of thing they write songs about and it can be very hard to rhyme with “aeroderivative.”

But all writers can take inspiration from song lyrics (and poetry). Too often, writers lean into jargon — words that have no meaning to those outside of a small group. They also give in to the temptation to make their writing too complicated — over explaining or writing around an idea instead of being direct. There’s also a tendency to want to use big words. Over the years I’ve realized that when someone asks me to elevate their writing, it usually means they are hoping I’ll substitute short, clear words for more complicated, jargony terms. 

Here's an example of where writing goes astray:

It’s safe to say that, if supply chain firms were leveraging the capabilities they have today, the process of change would be made that much simpler.

I’d argue that this kind of writing is almost never for the better. It makes your audience work to understand what you’re trying to say. In today’s world, where attention is harder than ever to hold on to, asking your audience to do work is a recipe for not being read.

Lyrics and poetry show us the immense power of putting the right words in the right order and show that those words can be simple, but still effective. Take these lyrics from the Adele song, “Someone Like You,” for example.

I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it
I had hoped you'd see my face
And that you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over

A first grader could tell you the meaning of every one of those words. A talented first-grader could probably spell each of them as well. In just 37 words, Adele brings us into the world of a woman who has been pushed aside but is not yet willing to give up. We sense her desperation, maybe even feel a little scared of her and for her.

Poetry does the same thing. I asked our resident poetry fan Caroline Morris for some examples of simple but powerful poetry. As someone prone to worry and anxiety, this poem by Mary Oliver particularly struck me. 

I worried a lot. Will the garden grow, will the rivers
flow in the right direction, will the earth turn
as it was taught, and if not how shall
I correct it?
Was I right, was I wrong, will I be forgiven,
can I do better?
Will I ever be able to sing, even the sparrows
can do it and I am, well,
hopeless.
Is my eyesight fading or am I just imagining it,
am I going to get rheumatism,
lockjaw, dementia?
Finally, I saw that worrying had come to nothing.
And gave it up. And took my old body
and went out into the morning,
and sang.

Again, like the Adele song, this poem is constructed of simple words but really packs a punch. The only potentially difficult word in there is “rheumatism” but it plays a specific role, taking us into the author’s mind, whirling with worry, by breaking the flow of the rhythm of the poem and introducing words specific to late-in-life worries.

I am not suggesting that corporate writers strive to be poets or lyricists. A blog meant to promote a company’s diversity efforts, for example, would be completely confusing if it was written like a poem. Rather, I’m suggesting we all take inspiration from the simplicity of this kind of language when we’re battling with whether to include jargon or make our writing more complicated.

Let’s go back to the example I gave of awkward writing:

It’s safe to say that, if supply chain firms were leveraging the capabilities they have today, the process of change would be made that much simpler.

Here’s one option for reworking that to be cleaner and clearer (though to be honest I’m not 100% sure what the author is trying to say):

Supply chain firms already have the ability to simplify change. They just need to dig deep and understand their own strengths.

I suggest listening to your favorite song or reading your favorite poem and then going back and editing your most recent piece of writing. Let me know if it helps! Also I’d love to read any songs or poems that inspire you.